Snow Morning Revelation05 Feb 2015, Posted by Blog in
I woke up this morning at 5:30am.
I couldn’t fall back to sleep.
My mind raced with 8 years of memories of my career. All the people, the experiences, the tears, the laughs, the joys, the woes, the hardwork and the fun.
And then it hit me.
It’s time I resign from my circus career.
All morning I processed. I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I made my partner coffee, a smoothie and a salad for work. Hello domestication! I took pride that I was nourishing my man while he made the green pieces of paper for us to live. Maybe his day would be better? Maybe his work easier?
I sat and watched the snow fall, I cried. Processing everything I have accomplished in the 8 years that I have been a professional hula hoop dancer. I traveled the world, met incredible people, loved hard, got my heart broken hard, filmed tv shows, movies and commercials, performed with Cirque Du Soleil and other reputable circus companies, I danced as though no one was watching, and to thousands of people. I received fan mail, presents, I have been told I have been an inspiration and leader. I feel very accomplished. A few things I would change, like I would have taken that Zen Arts gig in Beirut to open for Armin Van Burren as opposed to declining the gig for a stupid boy that broke my heart. But that was a lesson I needed to learn. And learn again. Your work comes first, and if those who claim to love you follows your heart, they are keepers. If they leave, let them leave, they never loved you right inthe first place. I wish I would have been more understanding and patient with certain people. I was so scared of people I loved leaving me, that sometimes, I just left. I ran. A lot. But like I said, these were my own lessons I needed to learn. And I’m humbled and grateful for learning them. Overall, these past 8 years have been magical. I was paid to hoopdance. To0 perform. To0 travel. To0 love. To0 learn. T0o teach. And to0 inspire.
It’s time for a new life. I’m creating one inside of me and it only makes sense to pray on new direction. It’s time to be a house wife, a stay at home mom, which has always been a dream. Of course if I’m contacted by Super Geek League or Cirque I’ll take a gig if it works out for me and my family. But that will not be my main focus. My focus is now on my partner, my baby, and our growing family. Who knows, maybe I’ll come out with a domesticated DIY blog? Maybe I’ll teach circus to kids? I don’t know what I want to do yet. I do know that I want to devote 100% of my attention to my family. It’s time to move on from what was, be thankful for the 8 years that I was successful, and to live 100% in the moment.
Here’s to the next phase, career, oppotunity, blessing to come my way…
Always in Orbital Bliss,